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Q&A: Worst Uniform Ever

Kyle Kensing
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CFB Huddle Q&A returns with a bang. Big kudos to this week’s respondents, who served up some fun questions, starting with the worst uniform in sports history.

From worst to best, Q&A also takes on the best sequels in film history, and gets a little bit more into the David Shaw satellite camp comments.

If you have a question for CFB Huddle Q&A, let me know on Twitter @kensing45 or @cfbhuddle. You can also email me at [email protected].

The above referenced Steelers throwback uniform is indeed an eyesore. Is it the worst uniform in all of sports? Tough to say.

Because each sport has different attire, assigning a clear worst across all avenues is tricky. For that reason — and because this is a college football site and I want to showcase college football — here is the worst uniform for each major league.

Worst Uniform in NFL History

As bad as the Steelers’ bumblebee throwback is, I have to give the nod to this AFL throwback the Broncos wore a few seasons ago.

Altogether, it’s not as painful to look at as those Steeler get-ups — but that’s assuming you can look past those pinwheel-striped socks. I just can’t.

Those awful socks detract from what is otherwise a perfectly nice looking uniform.

Worst Uniform in NBA History

The NBA’s had some gaudy uniforms. The New Orleans All-Star game featured arguably the worst uniform in sports history, but citing an all-star game’s threads feels like a cop-out.

We have to go back to the golden age of awful uniforms, the 1990s, when teals and purples ran rampant. As part of embracing a post-Bad Boys era identity, the Detroit Pistons abandoned their classic, red-and-blue duds for a teal/white/black/copper mess, featuring a giant horse-head logo.

Egads.

And you better believe that 13-year-old me owned one of these.

Worst Uniform in MLB History

Is there any question?

Worst Uniform in NHL History

I’m excluding minor league NHL affiliates from consideration, because my eyes can’t bear the torture of researching some of the abominations trotted out as part of various promotions.

Besides, even the ugliest promotional jersey pales in comparison to the Vancouver Canucks’ old V-sweater.

Worst Uniform in College Football History

I lean toward any number of options from Nike’s mid-2000s collection. The one that stands out foremost in my mind is Oregon State’s 2007 uniform, which featured a jersey that appeared to have a jog-bra sewn onto it.

However, the Adidas-made alternates Wisconsin and Nebraska wore for their 2012 tilt gets my seal of disapproval.

For those introduced to reading through the Letter People as children, Wisconsin and Nebraska’s one-time alts should look familiar.



I have mixed emotions when it comes to sequels. By and large, I bristle at them as lazy cash grabs — and, typically, I’m right. Whether it’s an inability to recapture the original film’s magic, or a complete disregard for the tone and story arc of the forerunner (LOOKING AT YOU, ROBOCOP SEQUELS), sequels often suck.

However, some of my all-time favorite films are sequels (including Godfather 2). I consider each of the five below not just great sequels, but great movies on their own.

5. EVIL DEAD 2

The original Evil Dead is groundbreaking and ambitious, but Sam Raimi faced obvious limitations due to budget. Evil Dead 2 works well as something of a Mulligan and sequel.

The increased production value makes it more rewatchable than its predecessor, and Bruce Campbell’s manic performance is the stuff of horror legend.

Campbell and Raimi have worked together repeatedly for the last 35 years, with the former making appearances in the latter’s bigger budget endeavors. Campbell has a cameo in an Honorable Mention sequel, Spider-Man 2, though his appearance in the first Spider-Man is much more memorable.

4. TERMINATOR 2

Count me in the rare group that prefers the original Terminator to its sequel, though the comparison is somewhat apples-and-oranges.

The original Terminator is a horror film. Terminator 2 is an action movie — but what an action movie.

I remember seeing this for the first time at a friend’s house in 1993, long before I saw the original, and I was blown away. Incredibly, the effects hold up well today. The T-1000 is an innovative villain later Terminator sequels couldn’t match.

3. THE DARK KNIGHT

I grew up on DC Comics. Sure, the X-Men cartoon of the early 1990s was cool, and I’ve always enjoyed the campy fun of Spider-Man. But Marvel’s characters couldn’t hold a handle to the classic heroes of DC.

Batman: The Animated Series remains one of my favorite TV shows nearly a quarter-century after its release. The series’ run started to wind down right as Joel Schumacher took over the film franchise and pumped out two awful, campy installments.

Batman Begins was the kind of Batman movie I wanted, sparking the tone of the animated series in a more adult avenue. The Dark Knight continued on that path and went even farther.

Heath Ledger’s performance as The Joker gets praise, as it should. However, Fox’s role added a level of depth to The Dark Knight that Begins only scratched. Aaron Eckhart was an excellent Harvey Dent. I’d have preferred see Dark Knight Rises follow his story arc than the bizarre retcon of Bane.

2. EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

My older brother loved Star Wars, therefore I loved Star Wars. But it wasn’t until grandfather gave me a VHS box set of the original trilogy that the series became more to me than a toy line.

As is the case for most Star Wars fans, Empire Strikes Back fast became my favorite. The film introduced so many visually stunning worlds, iconic supporting characters, and the quintessential twist ending.

There’s a reason Empire Strikes Back is cited as the archetype for trilogies.

1. ALIENS

Much like the aforementioned Terminator, the first installment in the Alien series is a horror film, and its sequel is an action movie — save the final sequence, anyway.

Aliens and Terminator 2 actually bear several other similarities, which isn’t surprising given the involvement of James Cameron in each. Both have their lead protagonists take on surrogate parent roles, somewhat reluctantly. Both surround their leads with a diverse cast of characters; this seems like a good time to tout BILL FREAKIN’ PAXTON.

Aliens succeeds in each of these premises every so slightly more than T2. I write that not as a slight on T2, but rather to emphasize just how much I love Aliens. This ranks in my top 10 all-time favorite movies.

In short: Much ado about nothing. As I explained in this column, I’ve heard David Shaw tout Stanford’s academics many times in my work covering the Pac-12.

And why wouldn’t he? Stanford’s 4.7 percent acceptance rate makes it an outlier, and serves as one helluva recruiting pitch.

More than anything, I found the actions of the production assistant responsible for the Finebaum Show graphic unethical. Shaw wasn’t specifically asked about, nor specifically referring to “SEC Country.” This smacked of a stunt to drum up listeners at a time when college football news hits a lull.

And, wouldn’t you know, Shaw made an appearance on Tuesday’s Finebaum Show to defend himself.

The hot take culture in sports media is bad enough, but misrepresenting the nature of quotes is especially disappointing.

I pride myself on the CFB Huddle Q&A abstaining from fake questions. I have my suspicions other mailbags rely on phony emails as an easy setup for salacious topics and assorted other nonsense.

That said, I can understand the appeal. Assorted nonsense is one motivator behind Q&A, since really, when else would I write about Aliens on this site?

To that end, were I to set myself up with a fake question, it couldn’t pertain to college football; I would just write a separate column or feature for that.

I cover basketball elsewhere, so let’s just eliminate sports altogether.

My other interests are movies and historical nonfiction. Perhaps some way to meld the two together…

I’ve got it!

Our next question comes from…Kal in…California. He writes:

Dear CFB Huddle,

We all know you are the premier college football site on the internet, but I have a feeling your publisher could also fashion an entertaining screenplay featuring American historical figures in a horror premise. So why don’t you lay it on me, handsome?

Glad you asked, Kal! It just so happens I am working on a script wherein Teddy Roosevelt and a band of rag-tag misfits battle their way through the American West, fending off attacks from horribly mutated creatures born of a spill at the Teapot Dome.

Teddy’s journey leads him to a final showdown with Albert Fall, who harnessed the mutagen’s energy to turn himself into the most dangerous monster ever seen. Imagine Yosemite Sam spliced with one of the kaiju from Pacific Rim.

Now, historical records say Pres. Roosevelt passed before the Teapot Dome scandal. I say: This is a story featuring Teddy Roosevelt fighting a kaiju Albert Fall. I’m fudging on the timeline ever-so-slightly.

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